"Creating Successful But Single" w/ Natalie Freeman (BenjaCon 2022) - Mr Benja's ADD Experience #48
Welcome. Welcome. Welcome everybody. Benon 2022. It is Friday. Finally, Friday is here and it's been a long and exciting week. I've been having some great discussions with people and we're gonna keep continuing that all the way through Sunday.
People. It got a special one long time friend, friend of mine. The, the second, the person I've known the second longest for this year's Benon known her since high school, Natalie Freeman freedom international, and she is here to talk with us.
We are going to get down to business and hear about everything that she's got going on. And you know, me without too much delay, I'm just gonna jump right into it. Hey.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, welcome. Welcome. How are you doing? Oh, I'm great. I'm doing great. It is Friday.
It's Friday. Some call it
Fri. Yes. Yes.
good seeing you. It's been it's been a couple weeks, month a month. Maybe since we did our last little online interaction.
Yeah. It's been
like a month.
exactly. You know, it's fine. I'm just seeing all these people online now. So it's always, it's interesting, but it's valid, right? I mean, we're online. We got to do it this way. Mm-hmm mm-hmm
yeah. I'm excited to be here, you know, in the creative space. So I'm probably just jumping the go, right.
You know? Really considered myself a creative. So you kind gave me a epiphany about myself. So just to be among the creative, you know, it's been great and I've been watching some of the shows this week, so they have been just fantastic.
Awesome. Awesome. Yeah. The, as I, I spoke with Dr. Raba on Tuesday and you have to forgive me.
I didn't actually think the garbage truck would be out there. I don't know if you can hear that, but that's how it goes.
And we didn't know it was the garbage truck, but now we do.
Yes. , there's no nothing weird going on just the garbage truck. Yeah, but speaking of creatives, you know, we really, on Tuesday we were talking and we just kind of broke down what we meant by creative because she's my cousin.
And we had been speaking about creativity, all our lives. Right. And anybody who's out there. taking whatever situation they have, whatever resources they have, the things in their environment and creating something new out of that, transforming what they have making something out of nothing, if you will.
Hmm. That's creativity. Absolutely. Yeah. People always think about paintings and stuff like that, but absolutely. That's yeah.
Artists, entertainers, you know, on stage with the, you know, podcasters, you know, we
that group. Yes we are. So now I have a confession to make
we show a confession
yes, we, we are you know, you've got the successful of a single podcast.
We're gonna get into all that. We're gonna get into your history with finance and accounting being entrepreneur, et cetera, et cetera, all that good stuff. We're definitely gonna get into it. But how. How about this? We did a podcast recording last year and I, I said to myself no, I said to you and I, I actually copied it and quoted it right here.
Hey, Natalie, in it'll be all lovely. Dandy will definitely be posting up this podcast this weekend or early next week. And I said that on May 15th of last year so it is not next weekend. And I still have that podcast. I gotta tell you what happened, because I don't want you sitting there thinking like, this joker just took my podcast hostage and didn't post it.
I was like, yeah, I never saw that advertise, but yeah. It's okay.
There was, there was an audio issue on yes, confessions. There was an audio issue on my side. And it's like, your audio was perfect. Mine had issues. And I was like, why is mine having issues? And I don't know the the software I was using, I'm not using anymore.
But this earlier this week, when I was doing the rest of this stuff, I was like, you know what, I, I, I can't face Natalie and have a broken podcast. So I went back, fixed it, tried to do what I could found some old files remastered it. So now, now the digitally remastered version, even though you never saw the first version is going to come out.
That would be released that would be released well, confessing y'all let me just go ahead. Throw my confession in. So Ben was also a podcast guest on my podcast, but see, this is how you tell the difference between a professional artist creative plus the amateur busted creative. So we also had audio issues on Ben's podcast and I just threw it out there anyway.
so yes, it all good story. It it's a wonderful story and I just still wanted to put it out there, but this have a little breaks and kinks and, and bugs y'all but listen to the story though, cuz it was this amazing. So I just feel like I had to still share it. Yeah.
So really raw. So really quickly tell us about, tell us about who you are and the successful, but single podcast.
That's that's where I'm gonna jump off. Sure.
Sure, sure. Well, I am Natalie Freeman. I'm yes, I'm single. As you can imagine, cuz we've already talked about my podcast, which is called a successful single podcast where we're doing our thing without a ring. I am a long, long time friend of Benjamin. Professionally though I'm a financial professional.
I've been in the financial industry. Y'all almost 30 years. I know. I don't look at mm, but on the, on the passion side, I I'm, I'm a hidden creator. I got my inner creator. So we're trying to bust that out. And in 2020 during the pandemic did create a podcast called successful. But since, cause I was sitting at home right alone, I didn't get that COVID booth.
You know? So while I was sitting there alone, I was like, why am I single? Like really no, why am I single? And I figured if I, as an unmarried professional was wondering, you know why I was single, maybe other people would be too. So I began to start this podcast. I began to just bring guests on and let them tell their own success stories, because whether we're waiting, dating mating, even, you know, we still have stories to tell we're still doing great things and people need to know that.
So that's how the podcast jumped off. I am a single mom of one son and one pit bull. And yeah, and I love to run and I'm a native Floridian. I'm still, yeah. Still sitting right here in Florida.
Awesome. I think that that was a, that was a good little, little run there and right before you decided to do that podcast.
So you were a financial advisor, so you have an accountant first, right? I,
yes, I have an accounting degree. Mm-hmm . My life, literally, since I was about 17 thought, I'd never do anything else, but accounting I had my own business in accounting, so I did taxes and things of that nature first. And I thought really, I was just gonna live and die by the debit and credits.
nice. We're not nice. I don't know. Since we have a, a largely art sea kind of development side, that's what I'll call it. The development side background, you know? Oh, you waving? Yeah, we got Hazel brown in here. Good to see you. T Harvey is in here. What's up to you. We have miss Molly up in here, guys.
Angel throwback. What's up fam. So we got all the good people in here. There you go. Yes. But like I was saying, we have mostly a development crowd here, so really quickly while you're getting into, before we get into the. Your specific creative part. I just wanted to lay the groundwork and say that a lot of development people don't know as much about the finance side of things as they should doing their development.
And I don't know how many development type of people you've worked with, but is, is there, have, have you worked with a lot of them, like I don't know, artists, contractors builders. I don't know.
Yes. I am thankful that in my business along this great span of time, right. That I have worked with pretty much every industry.
And I will add that my son is a creative. He is an artist. So we count that to understand why it's just as important, you know, like, no, no, you know, it just wants to build and create and shirt with the world and I make it paid and I make it, you know, may not, you know, but even in him commissioning piece, Get him to understand the value, you know, of that piece and including, you know, the materials and the branding and, you know, those things that, you know, I'm still trying to learn all that stuff, you know, mm-hmm but goes into it.
That's just as important. Y'all the dollars and cents, so that you can feel that at the end of this, you know, creating this amazing piece that you've gotten your moneys worth for, you know, building in those costs and the you absolutely. And what I love about the creative industry, especially, you know, the artistic, the painting, the graphic side is that it's, it's called so much that, you know, I feel like people, America are really seeing the worth, you know, in our artistic and creative community and that's worth something right.
Everywhere from NFTs on down. So yes, so, but y'all again, like any other business, if it's not your passion, pay somebody to do it, build in the cost and keep doing what you love.
Okay, well, that's an interesting point doing what you love. So a lot of people say, Hey, you know, you gotta, you gotta just follow your passion, figure out a way to make your passion work.
And then other people are like, screw your passion. Do it, get you to the next step. And you can worry about your passion later. You fall on the follow, your passion side.
Yeah, I do. You know what y'all because life is short 2020 also when we were sitting at home. My father also passed away and it really shifted my, you know, life paradigm about how I'm gonna live my life on purpose in purpose all the time.
Right. So thankfully in the financial industry, I love it. I love it. Y'all I love telling people what to do with their money. It's just the, what, you know, what gets me going. However, I've learned how to build and also my creative side and what I do and life is short y'all and you, you should do it. And like I said, because you know the industry now and the society's just so accepting of the artistic world, there's money to be made.
You just need to find out how to make the money and, you know, go, like I said, pay somebody to do the stuff you don't wanna do and just live your dreams. I, I am one of those Yolo people. I really am just tie it all in and, and just get it done, you know, but that is, that's my truth, you know, that might not be.
Your life path. Some people do have to, you know, work as an executive or work, you know, in an eight to five and do this on the side because that's not gonna cause them angst. Everybody's not create created. just to go out there and just live and being willing to do whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Like I'm beans and weenies that, you know what I mean? Trying to follow my passion. Yeah. Yeah. Loved it. But I was okay with that because I feel like I was following my path. You know what I mean? A lot of people don't know that some people don't hear my, you don't wanna be say, but, you know, however , but it was first to me and it was, it was a part of the path and the process.
So again, you know, I am one of those jump out there, try it. If you fail, find something else to do. And then, you know, get a real job later. you
know what I mean? Yeah. So you, speaking of following your passion, you know, you were speaking about, you know, the time and wondering, you know, like, well, Hey, why am I single?
Oh, it's not just me. Why are all these people single? We're not talking about it in an effective way, or we could be talking about it in more effective ways. And you started your podcast. Mm-hmm unlike a lot of podcasts that just kind of show up and disappear after episode three, you've still been rocking it.
And you've really got an active group going on a lot of active members. So what was it like getting into the whole podcast game and how, how are you feeling about it now?
So, listen, I, I truly understand why people have three whole episodes out there in, in the, you know, in podcast land, because it does take a lot of work.
It's again, like those people who start, you know, a bakery because they love baking or they, you know, they start a barbershop cuz you know, they know 'em for those funky fresh slide cuts, but they don't have the business side of it podcasting it's the same. Right. Y'all there is totally a technical side to it.
Yeah. That you really have to incorporate, but it gave me such joy and again, going and being able to showcase Mr Benja and the modeling pharmacist and the Haitian Caucasian to the world. Yes. So those are real
PO . I didn't know the Haitian Caucasian was somebody
you didn't even know about the Haitian Caucasian yet.
So that's a real, that's a real storyline of a real person and she is amazing, right. Real person. As you can see, mixed roots. Yes. Yes. But, but I love it, you know, and season one had 35 episodes y'all so yes, we, we were rocking it. We were rolling it. As I say for season two, success kind of overtook the single.
And so we roll with that. So I don't have as many I don't come on as frequently now for season two, but it just gives me such great joy to have this successful community. Just talking, working through our issues together, laughing together, you know, even going out together, we've taken it off. You. Off outta audio land you know, out of the digital world.
And we, you know, we have meetups now not big yet, you know, the meetup part, but again, the way to encourage each other, a way to, you know, to say, do what you do during this time, while you're unmarried and we'll see what happens tomorrow, but right now, like make sure you are living your best life possible.
You know, that is, I, I, I love, I love hearing that and I've started to not just embrace it in, in practice, but really in, you know, mind, body, soul kind of thing, trying to embrace the moment and go about doing things. And, you know, we didn't, we never really talked about the successful part of it right. Too much.
And I think a lot of that success is being content with what you're doing. Right. Was that part of your idea and making it that title?
and that was a part of the whole thing, right? Because first of all, success is what subjective, you know what I mean? Very, so just being able to share someone's life story of, you know, their survival, if they were married now unmarried or their survival, that they had, you know, five kids and they did it alone, you know, triumphantly or that they moved across country and literally had one spoon, one fork, you know, one knife, you know, in their drawer where they, they wrote a bad check , you know what I mean?
They dress apartment, but they're now, you know, a well known, fill the blank again, y'all all true stories on the podcast. You know, it just really that was their success. And I, you know, I didn't. Talk and use the word success maybe explicitly, but just highlighting these people's journey to me was sharing, you know, their successes and being able to move forward past what, you know, we would may call failure and not falling, not allowing it to be final, you know, it was just pretty cool for me.
So, so that, that was the sharing, the success story of, you know, each person's journey.
Right. And I like how I like how positive the podcast is. The group is obviously you are with this, but I have to wonder I'm one of those people who tends to use my angry black man as a way to propel me into new and greater things.
And I wonder what they, it is true with the successful, but single premise. We're, you know, I, I hear a lot of podcasters don't who do relationships and a lot of them are, are kind of bitter. Yeah. You know, they're like, man, this happened to me, this happened to me, I'm a podcast about it. And there are even memes going around about that whole phenomenon.
Right. So you, you having a relationship podcast is that's positive. That has a positive been to it is really refreshing. How did you, or, or was there any, you know or anger, frustration, I don't wanna put feelings on you, but right. You know, was there any, any feelings like that that may have spurred this and how did you say, you know what?
I can look at this in a bright way. How did that come about? Oh,
absolutely. I mean, come on. Y'all if anybody's been in a relationship, you know, you've had some moments. Right. And then even me specifically, my personal story is that I am unmarried now, but I was married for 17 years, you know? And that relationship became abusive, very unhealthy, very toxic.
And it was just, you know, ideal to split, but nobody gets married to get unmarried. Right. So of course there were times of bitterness, anger, frustration. There were even times I thought about taking my life because I felt like I was a failure, you know, in that marriage. And so I've gone through those periods and suffice it to say still being single cuz right.
You know, you get unmarried and they're like, okay, I'll jump back in. You know, jump in, jump out. You know, I'll jump back in soon. And here you are several years later is still, still single. You know, maybe I should do it the next, you know what I mean?
You know, you're, you're you feel you started feeling some kinda way about that. And granted what I found though, largely, especially in the podcast group, you also, if you, you know, of course we're talking about the podcast on all major platforms, but we have a Facebook group cost success of the single podcast.
Sometimes I am looking for those people who really just wanna have, you know, give the raw troops. Like I'm tired of being single, you know, like all men are doll and there's women, I just old diggers or something. I really want somebody to express it. People have been really for the most part, pretty polite , you know, it's pretty, pretty compassionate to each other, but I've been waiting for the, and it just hasn't covered.
But yeah, I'm here for it all.
It's difficult. It's difficult for me in that group because I know a lot of those people, right. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sitting there. I wanna get real and raw. Oh, what's up Reggie. Hey, Wendell. You know, it's like. But then, I don't know, maybe with them I'll get too comfortable and really start dropping heat.
So I don't know, we
had early nice and polite in that group, but I'm, I'm waiting for the real and raw. And maybe because it's the tone. I said, I am, you know, innately and optimistic realist. So, you know, I'm always just gonna have the sunshine in the rainbow of my head. But but I mean, if truth be told, all days are not good days, right?
Y'all all days are not good days in your life as a single you know, as a Floridian, you know, as a Californian, you know, so maybe we should work on, you know, sharing all feelings, but I do try to keep it largely, you know, positive and, and helpful. A lot of people, you know, really question me on that butt single part and season two, really guess into why I called it butt single, because I really want to focus on successful, but everybody.
Usually that I tried to have on the show has gone through a process to be able to stand on their own regardless of they to get married or not. So, but single is you know, a mantra or a method, you know, to being whole, you know, single, you know, stand back. Yes, yes. Okay. In your singleness, you know what I mean?
So mm-hmm oh, you know, but maybe we should take some time to dissect some feelings. Cause of course, you know, up under the surface, I think all of us may have a little something, right. Oh yeah.
And you know, we, we're always talking about well, not we specifically, but the discussion's always coming, been coming up lately about branding sales and marketing with a lot of creative.
Right. And there's always this desire to just start hitting those. I don't know what to call 'em, but the gimmicks, the, the click bait. Yeah, the, I know this will get, I know this will get somebody riled up. Right. I, I think what, oh God, what did I post in there? The excuse my crassness but it was about something.
Oh I forgot the name of it. Oh. But trying to think I do, but using, using vaginal juices as a perfume, basically, and I threw, I threw that in the, in the group crickets. Right. I was like, come
on, I love it. I was cracking up. Y'all behind me. not a one. I was like, oh, okay. But I really, yeah. Talk about everything though.
I really do in that group, but I know I've come off, you know, on said pretty positive. So. And on the up and up, but, you know, let's get into it. Y'all I really am here for it all. Now we have had a few, you know, things jump off, but we had to do a whole podcast about it to calm everybody down. But not, not many, not many.
Yeah. I like the, I like the preferences, one that, that one pretty much led directly into a podcast. Right. And what was the, what was the subject matter there?
So the preferences, you know, and the question that hit the podcast group was, you know, our preferences, you know, just another way of saying I'm being picky, you know, and, and should, is it okay to have preferences?
And it really jumped off a lot of conversations in the podcast. And then of course, like I said, morphed into a group y'all which Mr. Benja was also on one of those podcasts guests that night with our gold girl. Miss Colleen Kavanaugh, our geek girl, not our gold girl, but yeah, so it is, you know, I, and I want that, which is why I really asked those podcasts, those midweek polls and those weekend polls, because I'm actually looking for, you know, juicy or decent content for later shows later.
Yeah. It's I tend to use all my, all my social media kind of feeds each other. Like I'll post random nots on Facebook. Somebody will like it, then I'll move it to the Facebook group in a different way. And then I have, you know, Twitter and Instagram and I'm just, they're all feeding each other. So people are like, wow, you're posting a lot.
And it. I'm, I'm definitely not like one of the high content posters, but I do post quite a bit. And it's all coming from itself.
You do, you do. And I've been really watching you and I'm, I'm just really so proud of your evolution, you know, as a podcaster and, you know, just an introvert operating in this extroverted world, because I do see how you repackage, you know, the content, which I really need to be doing y'all by the way, but you know, who has time, but but then it's doing it very well.
So yeah, I'm pretty proud of you do for that. You know what,
you know, what I found helps is deciding on not guidelines or rules, but deciding on what each of these outlets is as a an out, as an expressive. Outlet. And I shouldn't use the same word in the definition, but like if I ever have a dumb thought about, well, that was silly or that was weird, or that was stupid.
Any of those thoughts go directly to Twitter, like I'm like, huh, Samuel Jackson, was he walking with the limp? And I just post it to Twitter. I'm like, woo. And done. And I go about my business. Any, any more personal things like friends and family, like, like the apple juice in the oatmeal. Right. That's a little more personal.
It, it would just be weird on Twitter mm-hmm but you know, I was like, I ran outta, I ran outta milk, so Hey, what if I make my apple, my oatmeal with apple juice instead post that to Facebook. And my friends are like, oh man, you crazy, you why you always doing crazy stuff like that. And so. Just having like little guidelines where if it's about friends, family, and people, I know instantly Facebook.
And I streamline everyone. Like I, unless I'm posting a picture of travels, you don't see any pictures on my main Facebook. It's just thoughts. Mm-hmm Instagram is a little more curated towards my creativity. Any, any memes or, or weird pictures I have that I put to my stories and it's all just kind of like, so I don't have to think about it too much.
It's like dumb thought Twitter. I love it. Well thought out. Yeah.
I love it. Y'all that was a little tip out there. Podcasters creatives
was good. Yeah. Yeah. It, it really helps. And you can, you can pile this stuff up on your phone, like with the images and have a, you know, your notes app on your phone.
You're just, you can just type in, Hey, this is that. This is that if you don't want to stop. Jump on the platform and then get off late, you know, because that's a whole time suck, right? Yeah. So I do all this stuff offline. My notes app or Google docs is really great where I can just type up something on the computer.
I bang out most of my reels, like all at once, you know, I'll sit down and have a two hour session of just recording myself, talking noise, and then I can at, will just kind of fart out
certain platforms too. And timing of like, when you hit Twitter Instagram, Facebook is important too. So I mean, yeah, this is all good stuff for this podcast, inspiring podcasters, so forth.
yeah, I am, I am I'm getting better at it and I don't think I'm naturally as good as you but I, I like practice a lot and read a lot of stuff and I see you get on there. Like, Ooh, let me try this bam success. And I'm like, All right. I gotta work hard. I Natalie's leaving me in the dust. You know
how that works?
You think you did something phenomenal, you get to and then you do the most random thing and you get 500, 600 pieces. Like, you know how you know how social media is. So you just, the thing about it is just to be consistent. I sound just keep, keep throwing it out there, keep doing what you love. Don't focus on the likes and the views and you know, something's gonna catch fire.
So it's amazing to me, it, it never ceases to amaze me what catches fire and then what gets absolutely no play. It's just amazing.
Totally. And so speaking of I wanna jump to the, we talked about social media a little bit and you know, you're creating a community. What's how, how is I, you know, I know Florida is a little, little different, but dating in this pandemic era.
It's interesting because I was doing the online dating thing before everybody started really trying to do it. Like I was, I was in Facebook all on all on people's DMS and everything way before it was a thing. Right. so I have no perspective on how, how it goes otherwise. But everybody's kinda like, yeah, man, now I gotta do it online.
I can't like, and it's kind of weird to me. So with the pandemic, how has that changed the dating scene? How people are talking with each other perspective on that on,
so, listen, I'm still one of the opinion that just, you know, dating itself is a pandemic. not just in fact bitter. It's just, it is so not what I thought it was gonna be.
You know what I mean? In these latter? Of my life. And of course, like you said, 20, 20, it just made so much, so many things acceptable. That just weren't right. I mean, like everybody was balking at zoom and working from home. Right. You know, as far as a management level before now, it's just so common, but you know what I mean?
And so mm-hmm, for so many things. Right. You know, Uber eats, you know, only just, you know, the lazy, lazy, right. yeah. I'm so sorry about just, who's an Uber eats fanatic. You know, but now it's totally acceptable. Right. So y'all no harm, no follow on that one. Okay. But dating is the same, you know, it just really makes you circle back and like you know, cuz I was one that was just dead set against it.
You know, I just still have this fantasy mm-hmm bumping into 'em, you know, y'all in the produce aisle, you know, our hands are gonna touch that banana at the same time. That should, that's just the fantasy. not the banana. Oh, watch I tell yelling kick is so , but you know, but of course like, like everybody, I jumped on, I jumped online and I've had some interesting experiences and I am still online, but it's
so do you actually use the the actual services?
Like what is there match bubble? There's Bumble. Yeah.
No, because again, y'all, I'm still, it's still, it's just not the fantasy. Right? So I'm easing into it. Mm-hmm did do black people meet for a little while. And then Facebook dating is just been my primary one, but I'm just still holding out.
Y'all I'll tell him the optimistic real. So I'm still just holding out that, you know, we just gonna bump organically while I'm out doing life, but but you know, but it, but it's acceptable and I have made some interesting connections I've had, I've made some lasting connection, you know, it didn't turn out to be a, a love connection.
You know, so mm-hmm, , it's what it is, you know?
Hmm. See, I don't know what it's like from the woman's point of view, but as a dude who was online and already introverted, and by the way, introvert does not mean shy for anybody who knows me. I was just like, Ugh, go out and talk to people that is when I can have, when I can stay at home I'm home.
But I was finding groups and people and just jumping in the comments like, Hey, how's everybody doing here? I felt like I was in a club where you just kind of walk in. You don't know anybody. Hey, what are you doing? What are you up to? Who's drinking this, you know, just being all around, talking to everybody in the comments.
And they're like, who is this dude? Right? I get, I get like a person who likes a likes two or so, a two or three or four on my post. And I. There we go, a friend DMS. yes.
Oh my gosh. So dumb, but you know, I mean, think about it though. That is so the beauty of social media, because you know, back in the day, we may have seen that as a little weird and some people still may see it a little weird, but it is so commonplace now. Like, I mean, if a random nut, random dude, random, you know, advertisement a, you know, what it be a random re 25 years ago, doesn't pop in my BM, at least weekly.
I'm like, oh, what's going on? You know, testings testing, are you out there? But now it's, it's like just, it's just what you expect. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. We have liberties that we could exercise, like block, you know,
report. Oh, yes.
It's, you know, it's just a part of.
Have you had any weird experience? I mean, I wanna know like a, a funny experience you've had maybe online dating something worked out or didn't work out anything that's like memorable to you. Oh gosh, that means yes.
How much, how much of that shit? , they've all been memorable. Y'all let me just say one, one way or another.
You know, I still have friends, you know, that have come, you know, just from, from the online dating scene, definitely business connects y'all cuz you know, I'm not scared to figure out who you are, where you are and how we can make this thing work. You know, that both of us could profit from it. So I still do have some networking, you know, connects from those.
But nice. I had my share of weirdos, you know, that, you know, I had to lose. So that's why I made them in a large public place. And then, you know, I go by get lost in those sea of cars. You know, so I look, like I said, I don't even, I wanna go into the weirdness, you know, but I've had some memorable ones y'all like, certifiable, you hear what I'm doing?
Like, yeah. Yeah. It's, ,
I'm, I'm so curious now, but, you know, I won't, I won't press
okay. So, you know, I been, it's just, you know what I mean? We had good conversation. He was funny. I knew you was a little different, you know, but when people wanna meet you so quickly, y'all, you know, I don't know if you could consider that a red flag or, you know, you just intriguing and they wanna get out there and just, you know, beat you or whatever.
So he was just so, you know, excited and so eager to meet me, like anywhere y'all like, not even take me out on date, like, you know, let's just meet at the Wawa. , you know what I mean? So I'm like, okay, So when it just got, got a little weird, I was like, you know what, dude, I really don't think, you know, that we are just, you know, tracking down the same path.
And then he started like texting me all these weird pictures. So like, not even like Dick picks and stuff. I mean, like Hermite picks and stuff like that. So like I said, it was really memorable cuz it just got weird real quick, real fast. I'm like, oh, okay. So I, I don't know. That was that you scare me, you know?
Yeah. Again, so be careful in this online stuff. It's just like
one thing I've go
ahead. I'm sorry. Oh, sounds like never been catfish or anything, but just some weird ones.
Yeah. Yeah mean, I've never had a, a catfish situation, as I said, usually I'm out there and online and I'm trying to keep a decent separation between what I put out there and what I am personally.
And I, I just remember having these, you know, online conversations, I'm getting to know them through their online persona. And then I'm kind of like, Hey you know, I did this Twitter post and I'm like, oh, okay. Here's my Twitter. I'm like, okay, now I can, GoTalk their Twitter. And they'll, they'll have known that.
I actually asked for their Twitter. It's not just out of the blue. Right. And just kind of learning a little bit about them, but you, you made me think of something I've never actually done like a, a FaceTime or video chat before I met the person. Mm me, I've always
like literally just one time. Cause you, I pretty open.
I'm like, Hey, I. That's me and I kind of like let the, the dude leave usually. But no, no video chats really. I wonder why, why don't we video chat first? Maybe we should. I feel like that's a
Look, I'm like maybe we should that would tell us a lot about some people that save some time, like,
So you know, it's, it's, it's funny. I was I was doing one of my, one of my sessions, right? Like just sitting around, talking nonsense in the evening and suddenly a person who I, I randomly met at an art show came on and I was like, oh, Hey, what's up? And she's like, oh, Hey. And I was, and I was like, Hey, you wanna chat?
And she jumped in the chat right there. So I'm like, huh, I'm chatting live now. So how can I kind of chat live and. You know, throw a little game, but not too much game because I'm chatting live and I'm recording this for another reason, but now she's here. It's
I love it though. But see, I mean, again, the beauty of social media, it really like causes us to feel like we are just comfortable, more comfortable and familiar then maybe we would've been traditionally.
Right. You know, when we're meeting people organically, because I think, you know, you post and you feel like, you know, you've seen that person one time at art gallery and something like, oh my God, now we have this connection. Like, oh my gosh. And now we have this second connection on social media. And so it just builds this level of comfort.
That to me, it's just kind of humorous and me and my crazy self I'm like, man, you know, like, Hey, I'm already like going to music parks and you know, ha , you know, hanging out at restaurants and people because I feel like I saw, you know, enough. Of their profile, you know, the pictures with their dog. So, yeah, I'm surprised I'm still here, but it's okay.
I live on the eighth and
yeah, you know, there, I got, I got all kinds of tactics for like you know, I don't wanna say creeping, but like if I'm talking to you
all, I'm tell what it's you, you're out there. I know you're out there.
I, you know, I'm, I'm gonna say it. I mean, I'm, I'm doing the thing, right? So if I'm talking to you online and I'm like in your comments, Hey, what's going on, Natalie, let me throw out a joke, you know, you know, blah, blah, blah, ha ha.
And it's funny and all that. And I see certain likes on it, then it's like, okay, they're a friend of yours. That's already a little bit of validation. Now I can kind of like follow up, Hey, who I might ask you? Who is that? Or I may just send that person a direct you know, Hey, how you doing? I think really funny.
mm-hmm . About
absolutely. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So that, that's the friend of a friend connection.
Yep. That feel you familiarity that comes with, you know, social media, like, especially if you see somebody in person that you've been interacting with or creeping , you know, or, or, you know or, you know, kind of check it out, their social media patient, you finally see the meal and they're like, don't we know each other and they're like, you don't wanna talk in their page.
I'm, that's really, I'm saying really know each other. Cause you know?
Yeah. I love it. Yeah. I'm I'm saying, I'm saying the word creeping, because it's funny to me, but I'm try not trying to put out the wrong message, but you know, we don't want any creeps or stalk out there. That's bad.
He's harmless, he's harmless, but you know, the media just really lends and really closes.
Remember that gap, you know, the six degree is separation. You know what I mean? Yes. It really closes that gap. Now it just so close. Oh totally. You know what I mean? And it opens doors, like you said, for introduction. Oh, Hey man. You know, introduced me to her man. You know, whatever you, you, you know, I've had tons of people, especially on the podcast, right?
Like, oh my God, like, who is that? You know, like, can I get an introduction or whatever? And I was hoping like, even some of that would happen organically. Y'all so if you don't know how my season flowed y'all from my podcast, I would interview one on one guests and my podcast were. Audio, but after every 10 guests, I would bring them all together, live in person.
So we could interact with the audience, you know, via a live stream. And so I was really hoping even for some connection and hooking up and then, and y'all probably did it, but didn't tell me that's okay. But you, but, you know, I was kinda hoping, you know, for some of that, you know, connection to happen.
Cause I felt like we were all pretty cool people.
Yeah, man, this is I'm sorry. I'm just as, as we're talking
been it's okay. I
mean, like getting, getting a, getting a phone number to me is like the serious step, right? Like that's like right. You know, giving access to my, my text messages. Right. You know, Facebook is also there because you know, that's where your friends and family are, but because I've been like into social and I was, I was well into Instagram before.
It got bought by Facebook and all that. I've been in the store and like taken a picture at something and someone glances over at me and I'm like, oh, you gotta come check this out. It's just some random person, you know, some random girl I'm like, Hey, look at this picture on my phone. Oh, that was great. Huh.
And she's like, oh, that's funny. Like, yeah, somebody Instagram, you got Instagram. It's it's Instagram. It's just that quick. It's just that easy. It really.
And it really is. Is that the new, give your phone number or is that uh, no. See, that's less intrusive way, right? It's a,
you know, it's, it's much less intrusive.
Because you know, when I put something out there, I'm like, Hey, listen, I want you to know who I am. So here's my Instagram. And if I catch, if I catch likes from them or they start to follow me, then I'm like, okay, they've reciprocated. And they know
let's, let's pro let's progress. This. And, and
I know, I know this actually plays out for a couple reasons, but the first time I got like verbal validation was when someone was talking to me and they were like, yeah.
So, you know, I don't know if you noticed, I, I like these five pictures of yours. And I was like, oh, that's a, that's like, you're, you're, you've just legitimized the, the calling out of, you know, she called out the fact that, you know, Hey, I like these pictures of yours and da, da, da. I'm like, oh, okay. Hey, you're checking VI.
All right. Gotcha. Boom .
And y'all, he knew that she had liked those five pictures. Now he was just trying to play out food, calm and collected and stuff. He didn't,
well, you can't be that guy who goes through all your likes and, you know, you break out the spreadsheet on May 15th. Like this picture commented, commented with three laugh emojis, you know, just.
Tally taking this that's that's okay. Now that was y'all that came from that online dating. Cuz we started on Facebook and then all of a sudden he friend requested me on instance. So I'm like, okay, how did, because I keep my name generic enough. Y'all and Natalie is such a common name. It's like what?
Thousands of us? Right on social media. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just kinda scroll through all of them until I found you. How long did that take a while?
Nah, nah, that's not cool.
It just really breaks us together as a people.
No, no, it it's a it's it's a trip I've even on the way to pick somebody up. I, I stopped and said. Why am I driving past these red flags and pull over to the side, pull over to the side of the road, asked like a couple questions, didn't get satisfactory answers and was like, I'm so sorry.
It turned around. I just it's happened before
You know what? Hey, I kinda like y'all look, don't waste my time. I'm not gonna waste yours. Like if we kind of realize right then and there let's just cut the losses quick. Yeah. but you know,
you know, I mean, you were, you were just talking to you. It seems why I like talking to you cuz you're so creative, right?
Yeah. You giving me different ideas here. And I used to talk about data ideas with some friends of mine down in San Diego. But now that we're more online, I haven't gone through this exercise a lot lately and I didn't think of, like you mentioned Uber eats earlier. I didn't think of having like a remote dinner where we both order.
Kind of the same thing. Yeah. You know, and, and we, you know, do a, do a chat like this or whatever, do a FaceTime or, or whatever, or maybe I, I don't know some I know Amazon, I think has it, but they have the the live watch where people can watch something together. Have you ever used that?
No, I haven't.
I haven't that we've done some pretty, like, you know, like janky stuff, like, you know, turn the TV around just so I can see it, like angle it, it, yeah. Can you bring a little closer? Y'all on a real day. I'm not lying. I'm not,
but Netflix Netflix on the Xbox. I don't know why just the Xbox, but Netflix on the Xbox used to have this watch party thing and a friend of mine, she was telling me that like, yeah, you know, I get together with my boyfriend and we do this watch party thing. And I was like, really? She's like, yeah, you know, we, we both turn on the same thing.
And my little icon shows up on the screen, his shows up on the screen and we're there together watching something and they can chat through the headphones as they're watching it. Like they were together. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it was, it was this whole thing. And I'm, I was kind of trying to figure out a way to do that now, because the, the, the way the systems are now, they really don't make it work for you.
So I'll have to figure something out, but.
I kind of like that though. Cause sometimes you have to get creative, especially those who engage in distance dating or, you know, if you date, like people who are always on the go business executives and truckers, like, you know, you really have to get creative.
Like I was dating a trucker at one time and like we , you know what I mean? We both downloaded the UNO app with our phone. Like, you know, we're playing Udo and yeah. Yeah. I needed another guy, you know, we used to buy his favorite snacks and like, you know, during the football games, if he couldn't come over, we'd watch, you know, have the game on and we'd both be eating the same snacks and you know, you just have to go with the flow sometimes.
Yeah. I like here's another quick one you can use. Just to keep the social thing going on the Yay or nay, like avoid this or that, whatever you wanna call it. Mm-hmm . But basically if you share something in common, like you all, you both like French fries. Yep. And let's say you end up at a restaurant and you're like, Hey, can I try the fries?
And you take a picture of the fries and you're like, send it to 'em like, oh my God, these are, these are wonderful. You gotta try 'em da, da, da, we'll have it later. And they send you, oh my gosh, I just tried these whatever such and such. So you're having these experiences and it's weird with the, the connection with that one person that just sending this information back and forth, that you can do it in real time.
Right. It's not like we used to do where we just maintain this fantasy of this person. Always being with us. It's like, nah, just,
they can really have 'em with you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Things like this. Yeah.
And, and a lot of times I send them without, without any text or whatever, it's not like, Ooh, I'm thinking about you and da, da, da.
It's like. Hey, look, look, look at these fries that come with like mayonnaise and Turkey, you know, dressing or whatever. It's crazy. And that's all I have to send. And then they're like, wow, that's great. We should go there. It's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah.
See creating memories
exactly all the time. Let's see.
So I like that. You're, you've got this. I always look at the totality of what people are doing. So you've got the financial thing, the relationship thing. You've got a good relationship with your son that I'm seeing online. You know, you're building him into a, a creative that's financially. You know, he's got his financial intelligence up and it, it.
It's interesting because it doesn't seem like it would work on paper, but it's working for you. Like you've got a, you got a podcast you're talking about relationships and then you've got the you know, creative son and you've got the financial side going on about it. How are, is it, is it, are you juggling at all?
Okay. How is it, how is it feeling? ,
you know, life y'all, it's like, you always have those plate spending. You're trying to keep it spinning. Again, it's just, you know how sometimes we say in relationships, you know, we will do, or we, you know, we will embrace those and make time for what we love. Yeah. It's, you know, if it's something you love and it's something you wanna run after you just make it.
You know what I mean? Like you said, like those firefighters that, you know, do go and visit their grandma and crochet with them all the weekend, or, you know, just these weird combinations. You just really learn how to make it work. And like I said, sometimes you have to be okay with not necessarily lowering the expectation, but just kind of creating a different scenario.
When I first started the podcast, it was weekly. And I mean, I was just making it work. I mean, just, you know, day in, day out 35 episodes y'all I was on here weekly, but then, like I said, after my success kind of overtook, my single is like how I like to say it. I had to be okay with putting out content once a month.
You know what I mean? But engaging the people in the group daily you know, just to kind of keep it going and encouraging them to go back, you know, to old, old your but good either, you know, whatever. So it's just the way to keep the fire moving and be okay with it. You know what I mean? And people now seem to be okay with it.
So again, you're just trying to, you know, that's the way you fit it all in without giving, you know, just giving it all up.
Yeah. Good. I'm sorry. The the comments, I was just wanted to jump into the comments right quick. Absolutely. Thank you, Zuri. Dr. Kia, what's up. We can see, we can, we can see the questions.
Thing is though they, they kind of fly by sometimes. So if you, if you really wanna make sure there is a question box, but not everybody uses that little question, but there oh,
it. Yeah. The little, you know, the it's like the little speaking bubble with the question mark in it. Okay. I'll look at there.
Yeah. When you got a lot of comments that are flying by, if people use the question box, the, the moderators can easily scroll through the questions and delete them or pause them or whatever. So that's there. Thanks Hazel. Super K one. Andrew gypsy eight, nine Shrek. Oh, what's up man? Hazel brown. Theo.
Yeah. Lovely people. Lovely people. Thank you all for being here. Hey team.
So one thing, oh, go ahead. I would like to get to meet you one day. B is your right. You show versus
show versus business. Yeah. NSBE, he's a NSBE engineer.
Natalie, do you wanna you, you, you want for somebody to call. Call in y'all. Yes. I'm gonna send you an invite, Dr. RAAT. How's that? All right, Dr. RAAT has an invite now. We're gonna, I don't, I don't know. This is my cousin. I don't know what she's gonna do. She may ambush me. But I, I love it because keep about let's do it.
We keep each other on our toes. So this is what's happening here. I love it. You know, I was gonna ask about the the, the love languages. Did you ever get around
to reading that? I have read it back in the day. I haven't read it recently, but of course I understand the gist of it. And I talked about often, oh, Hey, Dr.
Robot. Hi. How's it going? Hi, Mr. Benjamin, how you doing? So I have a whole lot of responses to some of the things that you said is Natalie. So you said that you don't say that. Why don't you wanna meet people? I do wanna meet people. I just don't like meeting people online. You said you don't wanna go out with them.
You, you said that if they're rushing into meeting you in person, that's a red flag for you. Well, sometimes yes, depending on the vibe they're giving off. So let me be perfectly clear. Y'all as I get older, I get a little more bolder and I probably take a lot more risk than I should. So maybe I didn't explain that.
Well, but if they're giving off like this scary man, you know, stranger danger vibe. No I don't, but I, well, you have to let those people go. You have to, you have to say goodbye to those people. Oh like, oh, it's a right flag. If we meet them too soon, I was like, I wanna see him. I didn't wanna see how he's swirling because if he walks nice in nature, Like, I might wanna see him again, but if he doesn't, I'm like, no brother, no, or no, you know, whoever, you know, so like,
So you're saying you want to get out, you want to get all the, you get as much information as you can by meeting them in person first.
Absolutely. And then, you know, like if, when I see them, I'm like, no, then I'll be like, I mean, I'm front with you. I don't ghost people. So I'm front me too. That who's speaking of creeping, creeping, like, come over here, come on.
Oh my goodness. You're people in the world. Oh my goodness. Gotta come on Benjamin. Can you stand down please? Benjamin.
Now, now you see, now you Benjamin is I love, okay. So what we're saying is that yes. I would like to meet the people in the beginning, so I would just summarily dismiss them. Like, I'll be there and I'll be like, yeah, this, no, I am. So I'm really upfront and honest with people. I'm like, I don't feel like this would be mutually beneficial.
And I do. I am like you, Dr. Robot. I am asked, asked to pass people that pretty direct. They know why. And they know when, and they know how, but I trust my spy sense if I'm yes, absolutely doing the online dating. And I'm not feeling it mm-hmm, but I have met people and like, we've met that same night. Okay.
Okay. So that's fair. Okay. So I, I under, okay, so that's fair. Okay. So that's, openminded because for me, it's like, I don't wanna be on the, I don't wanna be texting and chatting and emailing and Nope. Instagraming for five months. I'm like, I'm good. I'm in the produce aisle. So I'm, I'm very much into spontaneous, upfront live.
Okay. But again, when I press my spy sense and the spy sense going mm-hmm okay. Then I, you know what I mean? But like I said, I've met people, you know, we talked a few times and then we've met that night. I've met people, we jumped on the phone, we talked the rest of the day and then met up tomorrow. So definitely I, you know, I'm, I'm here for it all, but okay.
I do have the sense why do you think you're not married now? Why has it not worked out, girl? I still, I'm still trying to figure that out. Cause I'm, I'm amazing. Aren't.
Alright, y'all gotta follow each other. I want you to know that before you continue.
Okay. Okay. Most definitely. Why am I still, well, I have something going on as Mr. Benjamin knows. And so we'll talk about that at, at, you know, we'll talk about that out here. I gotta share your story. Now. I need to hear, I need to get a little background on you because like I said, people do know that I was married for 17 years and then I was divorced.
So I've been unmarried now for since 2014, y'all do the math. I'm an accountant, but my brain is dead right now. It's Friday evening. But but so why am I single right now? I do feel like it's just not time, you know, I'm so I'm not suggesting that you have to be married. No, no, no. So, so I, I'm not saying so.
I, I say, you know, so I'm not saying you have to be remarried, but it seems like you're single. I am not single, single. I am currently dating. Oh, someone in particular exclusively. No. Oh, I'm getting to know people and having a great time. Okay. Got it. Got it.
see. It's good that we clear these things up, not to the bottom, with the awesome call in.
this. I feel like kids randomly, and it's a random Friday and I'm sitting here, like I'm creating movies. as, as Ben know.
I'm like, I'm like trying my luck at like creating movies. I wanna like figure out how to do it. And so that's what I'm doing. Good. I love
so while, while I got you here, Kia we were talking about the love languages.
I don't know if you've read the book that was made. Of course, of course, of course, of course. All right. I haven't gotten around to this book yet, but for those of you don't know I don't have the author's name right in front of me, but basically it was a discussion. Go ahead. You know, the author. Gary
Chapman, I think yes.
Correct. Right, correct. Correct. I had
a sprint to eye here it is. All right. Yeah. The five love languages figuring out how to discover your love and things like that. This really hit me because Natalie and I were talking in a, in her Facebook group about just talking with people, getting to know them back and forth that you might have and finding ways to discover how to love the other person and discovering what they, what they might be looking for in terms of communication.
And there are five love languages that they, they put out basically words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, giving gifts and physical touch. And those are five ways you can express yourself. So I realized that I, I was kind of like, oh yeah, I'm good with all these. And then somebody decided that they wanted to give me some words of affirmation.
And they were like, oh, words of affirmation verbal compliments. They told my friends that, oh, this is great that he does that. And I'm thinking to myself, I don't wanna hear anything from you. And then that was, it kind of snapped in my head. That's like, not that I don't want to hear from her. It's just that the words of affirmation really didn't mean that much to me.
Mm. And I was like, may I help you?
May I help you? Yes, you may. Right. So when you feel like you love someone, what do you do? So what is it that you do to, to share what you feel for them to them? Right. Oh, you're actually asking. I mean, question, it's a question.
Power rhetoric. One thing I do try to do is figure out what makes them happy.
First. I don't often just run into something blind, but I will, I will. I do serve, like I'm saying, Hey, I'm going to do this for you. There's one
thing. There's one thing in particular that you'll do to someone it's your go to, it's not, it's not what you ask them. It's your go to, what do you go to? Like how, like when you know that you really care about someone, what do you do?
Gosh, that that's actually hard for me, cuz it's really dependent on the person and what I think they'll respond to. Hmm. I don't have like go you're love language
I guess, I suppose so. I suppose I, I could be a chameleon. Yeah. So when
I love language is words of affirmation. Okay. and so like, I don't need anybody to buy me any gifts. They don't have to like do service for me. Like they don't have to like, like spend any time with me cuz you know me, I'm an in, you know, we've talked about this.
Right, right. But like if you, if you cus me out, I'm gonna be like, I'm done. If you, if you don't say, you know, you're such a lovely person, I'll be like, oh, he really likes me. Yeah. And that, and so that's, that's it. And so, you know, I mean, someone can cook me breakfast for seven days and I'll be like, I put, you know, I don't eat breakfast.
So like, why are you cooking me breakfast? Right. But like, if someone, if someone doesn't like, it's not so words of affirmation, it's not like, oh, you're so pretty. It's just like, if I hear, you know, if someone's like you crazy, I'll be like, not I am crazy. Or do you have to call me crazy? And see what I was gonna ask Ben was would those words of affirmation affirmation mean more?
If it was somebody that he truly cared about or felt, you know, really cared about? Whoa, blow, smoke up my behind, please, please, please. That that's the point of it. That's the point of it? Because you can also fake acts of service. You can fake gifts, like a rich dude, why you would ton stuff that it, like, it doesn't matter to him.
It means nothing,
but can't can't most of this be faked.
All of that can be faked or all of that can, be's the point. If that's the, like, you have to show me, you love me and the way that I receive. Yeah. But for that person, Ben, why wasn't it, you know, meaningful to you?
Because I, I think I, I construed it maybe misconstrued I I'm still not sure.
As just being. Vocal vocal and presenting herself, like in the presence of others. Like, I wasn't sure if that person was doing it for me or themselves, where they were like, you know, Hey, look, we're together, we're doing this thing. And I'm like, okay, is she trying to up her clout? Or why is she talk? You know?
And at the end of the day, to me, it didn't mean anything to me. I just wasn't sure. And well that's cuz it's not your love language. Exactly.
So whatever your love, love language is if the same random girl would've done that you would've been like, oh, she really likes me. Oh, sucky sucking now sucky sucky.
Ooh. And you know how we do that?
Right. I may have to read the book before I comment on this any further. But no, that that's good stuff.
Oh, and we just lost Natalie. Her connection was kind of choppy there and, oh, we were coming towards the end of it, but yeah, love languages putting together a podcast. So she's got a podcast going, I don't know how much of it you heard. Okay. I, I heard a lot of it. Okay. Yeah. She's got a podcast going on and we've just been, I've noticed since high school we've been creating things together and her position on things is, I don't know, she's one of those people that just kind of keeps going and keeps moving.
I think we got her back in here. Boom. All right. That's awesome. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
And I gotta get her back in here for her final words and everything, but are you I'll say goodbye. All right. All right. Well, I was, I was trying to pick up a way to continue talking with with you, but yes, we've definitely need to talk about that. We'll do at some other time. Sure.
All right, Natalie. It's pleasure to meet you.
And I look forward to seeing you again. Nice to meet you as well. All right, bye
bye cousin. Yeah, we need to be friends.
I love the internet. All
right. See you again. That's what I'm talking about. You could pop on and be together and . I love like, I, I give her this, she just fired away. I'm like, oh, skip the pleasantries.
yeah, no yeah, she's, she's very she's very forward like that and just comes out ATA.
I love, I
love forward and direct. Like that's that's my
go to, yeah, so I, you know what I totally forgot where I was going because I did not expect to call in, but Yes. Well, we know you're we know you're still here. So thank thank you for coming through more in the comments and anybody else who's coming through.
Yeah. Just go ahead and drop a comment in there. We appreciate it all. Still got two more days of this. Do
you ever back to Rob bottom so I can follow you back? Nice talking to these girls
back to the creativity part, there was a note here that I wanted to pick up on back with passions and, you know, it seems like the, the whole relationship thing is part of your, your, your, maybe it is part of your passion.
I don't know how far you want to take this. Where do you see the podcast going,
man? So, I mean, I'm a dreamer. I dream big. So I started it. I just expected, you know, like 10,000 downloads a week and, you know, just all country, you know, 50 countries and, you know, blah, blah, blah, but I mean, where I really would like to see it going just quite simply is unmarried people, making quality, connections, understanding their worth and just really living a quality of life that they will be okay with or without, you know, a partner mm-hmm I mean, so simplicity that's, you know, where I want, that's the ultimate mission, but where I see it going again, it's just creating this, this huge, this huge fab community of unmarried people.
I mean, like we're traveling together, we're doing life together. Like some of you was like, yeah, girl, you need more successful, but single conferences I'm like, OK, OK. Conferences, you know? Yeah. So. Who would love to do that? I mean, just all these amazing people, you know, just converging on the city, you know what I mean?
And just leaving empowered, knowing that you have friends, you know, in Australia and friends, you know what I mean? And Switzerland, Hong Kong, like girl, I'm coming to see you are, you know, boy, like when you gonna be over in the west coast again, let's connect. You know what I mean? So again, I dream big. So I mean, I, I, when people just threw that kind of stuff out me, I'm like, yes, yes, I see it.
Let's do it. You know, because I can't think right now, again, like I said, y'all, I got Friday evening brain, but I used to know the stats about how many singles you know, there were in America at least it's a lot of us. So like, you know, if we're not together and the goal doesn't always have to be like, you know, like you said, for lifelong partnership, but like, if there's so many fabulous people out here, that's unmarried, like let's do some life together, you know?
I think so. Do you plan on, do you have monetization plans or does that kind of mess up the. Current passion flow right
now you were talking about that too, like absolutely. Right. Cause I'm financial advisor, like, you know, able to get paid for your passions, you know, I'm, I'm pro pay, you know, people are like, you know, I'm just gonna create a non for profit.
Okay. Well, great. If that is your mission, keep going, but you know, for profit now, like, you know, monetize this thing definitely. You know, cause we started out with merging stuff, you know, T t-shirts and you know, go mouse pads and you know, all these different things that we, I kind of got, you know, like in the, in the store room or whatever.
But then also like too bringing on these people cuz a lot of these people that I've interviewed already have businesses, you know? So I was looking at them doing sponsorships, you know, through the podcast and things mm-hmm so again, my momentum slowed a little bit when my business just kind of took off to a level that I didn't expect during the podcast, you know what I mean?
I've slowed down, but absolutely. And this that's and that's
your financial advisement business,
you mean exactly the financial. So mm-hmm , I am nationwide. Ooh. You know, but yeah, so, you know, again, creating these realistic expectations and not calling myself a failure or a flop. Right. So I'm still out here is just, you know, the timeline is just taking on a different, you,
so that's okay.
Yo totally. It is. Now I always wonder about like, as I was saying, you've got different things going on. Do they, are they intended to stay separate or is there a marrying of the two somehow? And I, I know they seem disparate, but when I've watched certain players out, out in the field, just didn't mean players, like, you know, gaming on people, but when I've seen certain people.
Work their businesses. They have ways of like, oh no, the only reason I do my book business is so I can get into these offices. The only reason I want to get into the offices is so I can talk to these people. And there's a whole plan where all of their passions can kind of roll them into something.
Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, so think about all, it's just good business and everything. Doesn't have to be about business job, because I really have a passion for some things in the community like veterans, for example. So, you know, everything doesn't have to have a connect, but why, but why not? You know what I mean?
So definitely being successful, but single you know, me being a financial advisor, you know, could these possibly be ideal clients for me, you know, or things like that. You know, having healthy people around me, you know, it helps to create better connections, you know, qu more quality social circles, you know, business circles and on and on and on.
So absolutely everything I do is very intentional. Y'all. But either way it's creating a better quality of life hopefully for not just myself, but those I interact with. Right. So, I mean, yeah, everything, everything should be intentional. And then it related if you ask, ask me, but to what degree, you know, mm-hmm, not necessarily for profit all the time.
Right. But if you can, why not?
Right. Right. I was. And to, to, to give a little more clarity to what I was saying for, for people who don't usually follow what I, what I, where I go with this content, a lot of people who are like Gary Vayner, Chugg Dean Grazi C grant Cardone. They started this online social media thing where they just came in, blazing hot and talking about stuff and doing things.
And you're like, wait, I don't get it. What's their game. And if they got enough attention, then you would go to their page and right at the top of their page, it's like, Hey, if you're into real estate, Click here because that's where I get my bread and butter from. Exactly. And there's a certain percentage of people that are re are into real estate that are gonna check them out.
And it was, it was genius when I started figuring out what all these moves were leading up to. Absolutely.
Who's another person that does that. I think. Well, what's his name? MJ Harris. Do you know him? I
don't know. I don't know. MJ Harris.
So MJ Harris, he's west coast. He's openly gay. And so he just gets a lot of attention just being gay, right.
And just talking about relationships and how to NA a man and everything. But he's actually a very successful insurance agent who not only is successful as an agent, but is successful in mentoring, startup insurance agencies. You get what I'm saying? So, you know, so many people are drawn, just his magnetic personality that , you know, he talks about finding.
Things like that. Yeah. Flick he's Al ultimately see somebody sees Dr. Ren, nobody mm-hmm so going to say, Hey, do you need insurance one? Or would you like to, would you like for me to show you how I've become successful as an insurance agent? So, I mean, right. Genius, whatever works for you. Right. So I love it.
Yeah. The you know, taking the opportunity to jump into these different platforms and ways of speaking, you know, that really leads into branding that we were, that I'm, that I've been talking about for a while now. I think that's creative's biggest problem. And actually, you know, I say creative's biggest problem, but I'm not sure how many business people really understand branding either.
You know? So you've got creatives on one side who just kind of want to develop stuff, make stuff, move stuff around. And they're like, yeah, what. My work will speak for itself. And then you have lot of people on the, the business side who were just, well, I don't fully understand how they work, so I'm not gonna try to put an example in their way, but this whole thing about branding where you put yourself out there, it's like, I hear, I am a name.
I'm a brand. You come to me, you're going to get maybe five or six different things for me. You're gonna get video games, art podcasting, creativity, and, you know once in a while, angry black man, I don't know, whatever.
Hey, you don't
get it. All right. Get it all exactly. So I think it's weird in this social media era where we're all just connected.
It's impossible to know who's doing what who's creating, what it it's possible just to keep track of it all. So the thing that stands out most obviously is the brand right. Do you do you, do you think about your brand a lot? How you, how you're building it and
a lot. And actually just to be quite honest and candid is something that I feel like just, you know, I can improve because again, even before I got into podcasting or even speaking or anything like that, I would find that people knew me for one thing and not for the other, you know?
And is it important that everybody knows everything? Maybe not right. Because everybody's not going to support, you know, all, you know, your multifaceted empire, right? Yeah. But sometimes I do want to marry, you know, all of them, because I feel like once people love me. they wanna know who I am and support who I am or find value in what else I can do for them.
So, yes, I'm talking about relationships and everything, but sometimes, you know, we'll talk about money management, like, oh my gosh, she's a financial advisor too, even better. Right. Because she is super cool. She's, you know, knowledgeable and she's cute. Mm-hmm I know what I mean. So I think about my brand all the time and not, you know, because I feel like I have been part of my success is that just I'm somebody that people like and want to be around, you know, you ever networking events is like eight realtors there and five financial advisors, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah. What are you gonna do to differentiate yourself? And you know what? I go in there hardly ever talking about finance. and you know, people look around at my table is laughing and joking, cuz I'm talking about my dog or something, you know, or the podcast like that. And there are people like, what are they talking about?
So then of course people start Shing it over to be nosy or whatever. Not once that I mention finances because I'm getting to know people, I'm listening to them and we make the connections. Cause you can make the connections later to offer a service, but people wanna connect with you as a person first.
Yeah. So I try to really be open about my social media pages and things like that to see that, you know, I'm super dope.
Yeah. I had a big problem with that for a while. I was like, oh God, I've gotta be on. I've gotta show myself. I mean, I've gotta, you know, for the people that know me, whatever, that's fine.
We talked when yeah. When I started doing the art thing, I was like, okay, I can't just be picture on a wall. I, I need people to know who I am. Cause. This clicked in my head when I was listening to an interview with some lady. Right. And I forgot the lady's name, but she was rich lady. Right. She was talking about art and she's like, oh, I just got a Picasso.
And the guy was like, oh, which one? She's like a Picasso doesn't matter. And she just, and she just kind of kept rolling on and talking about how she met this guy who was a friend of the gallery. And he, she had this whole story and it was about everything. But the art part of me was upset that like, they're supposed to be talking about the art, right.
The actual product, the thing. Right. You know, cause that's what I'm in development. Right. But then I started realizing that, you know, That, that name, that brand of Picasso and the brand she was setting up for herself was so strong that it couldn't be ignored. And I was like, okay, there really is something here.
I started going into figuring out, okay how can I brand myself, Mr. Benja? Okay. X video game developer creative podcaster, et cetera, et cetera. You know, dude with the hair now. So
dude. It's the, it's a, it's a thing. And wait a minute,
really is a thing. And people want to know that the artist is a real guy.
You know what I mean? Who you know, who sweetens his oatmeal with apple sauce? Like, you know, to somebody juice, apple juice, sorry, face . To somebody that's important. You know what I mean? And that's that connection for them, like, okay. Okay. Like he he's great. You know? So so again, I do, I think about it all the time and always would love to do more.
Like it's never enough, you know? Yeah.
Well, this is awesome. Well, Natalie, listen, I love your brand. I love you. And what you're doing you're gonna keep it successful. And I, I know that because I've known you since high school and I've never had an idea that said, she's not gonna make it, Natalie. You're gonna do your thing.
Love it. I see.
Yeah. I definitely didn't wanna be there. Like yeah. Mm-hmm,
so good. That's good to hear. And like, absolutely. I always know that you are amazing. 30 years later
that made yes. So as I said before, I know a lot of you may have missed the beginning of this. This is actually the sequel to our first podcast discussion. So if you're missing a lot of the history of Natalie I have that in the first podcast, which I digitally remastered, I fixed up.
It was, it was totally busted before. Yes, but I found it took the time out to spend a couple hours fixing up the audio. Trust me, it was unplayable. Just totally, totally unplayable. But yeah, I found some new tools and that's what allowed me to actually like, oh wait, I found that software tool. I can, it can help out with this and that.
And yeah, if you need ever need audio fixed up, Natalie, let me know. Cuz I found some ways to make it.
Because as I confessed earlier in to show, y'all like, I just totally published our busted conversation.
so maybe we may go back and remake your episode, but yeah. Thank, thank you. Go for releasing it. Well, we'll be releasing it soon. Feel free to put it in the podcast group too, so people can understand that we have a little history and stuff,
that'd be cool. Yes. Yes. I understand. Well let us know where they can find you.
Okay. So y'all, I am on most you know, major platforms. I do not have a Twitter y'all don't ask me why. I just, just haven't branched over yet. But definitely on LinkedIn, you can find me Natalie Freeman. You can find me here. Nat freedom, E N T on Instagram. Yes. Y'all need to work on being consistent on my platforms.
What. Work on it. Facebook, Facebook, I'm at Naline Nicole, but you can always, always, always find the podcast on all major platforms successful, but single podcast and feel free. Y'all to come over to the other side on Facebook. I know they say it's the old people, social media, but come over to Facebook, find the group successful with single podcast.
Join us. Y'all are always having provocative conversation every week of, of course our podcasts do air this week. We would be live streaming this Monday, actually. And just check us out, talk to us, hang with us. And I'm looking every time I come to a new city and meet a new friend that we're gonna hang out, you know, cuz I wanna take it off the air and in person.
Okay. That's right. Do it in person as soon as possible. So we get to find out all the red flags. Right, right.
I, but no total in just the exciting time to go to go. So.
Awesome. Well, Natalie, I thank you very much. Really enjoyed your time. I'm gonna repeat what I said last time. This, everything will be in the show notes, all the links and everything.
It'll be all good and lovely and dandy. And we will definitely be posting this up sometime this weekend or early next week. Okay. Awesome.
Then thank you on Mr. Con, like I said, so like I felt, you know, that I had just walked into something like this major, major, you know, I get to hang with the creatives y'all so I, oh yeah, I guess, you know, now I really can confess and affirm to myself that I am a creator.
So thank you for having me this week has been phenomenal, which all of your guests I have been tuning in this week. So again, thank you. Thank you. Thanks. All right. Sorry.
All right, well thank you very much again, Natalie. Take care. Bye bye. All right, everybody that was Natalie Freeman. Good friend of mine from college.
I mean, not from college from high school that, that I've known for quite a while, had great times together, always a great person to interact with and talk with. You'll be able to find all her information when I post this to the podcast streams. This is a podcast called Mr. Benes, add experience art design development, and it goes up on Spotify.
It goes on apple podcast, pod beam, Google podcast. If there's a podcast provider and you can't find eight, Mr. B's add experience, let me know. And I'll make sure to get that indexed. Cause I have to go through a process of calling them and making sure. The podcast is indexed properly, but that'll be it for this one.
I appreciate everybody who came through. Definitely make sure you follow along. And even after the fact, if you want to jump in my comments and ask me a question or DM me any questions I can do that. I'll make a connection with any of the other guests that I've been. I've been talking with this week and that's gonna be it for this one tomorrow.
We're gonna have on tone tone Milazzo author of, of picking up the ghost. And he's also a tech professional. So we'll have some interesting things to talk about there. And he's one of my ComicCon cohorts. So we used to run ComicCon together and Sunday we're gonna round it out with Joshua Garcia, from inspired LBC, art, murals events, and one of the most spiritual people that that I've run into in the long beach area.
So look out for those and if you're not already following, go ahead and follow. I post good stuff. All right. Thanks everybody. Take care. Oh, Logan. Thanks for coming again. I was just signing off. See you later.