"Resolutions 2022 Throwback" - Mr Benja's ADD Experience #40

Remember resolutions? We're about halfway through 2022 and I KNOW by now you've forgotten about them. Here's a refresher.

2022-01-07 Pt1 and Pt2 Combined

[00:00:00] Intro

[00:00:00] Happy new year. What's up everybody. This is Mr. Benja with add experience live. We are here in 2022. I'm glad to be back with you. I am thinking about resolutions in the new year. As a lot of you may know, this is my favorite time of the year. It's not one day. It's kind of this more than a month period that started sometime back in December and rolls into January.

It's where I really get into. Change and growth mindset. So what I want to do today is just start talking about resolutions and I'm actually going to do a series getting back into doing some of these lives like I did last year, but I'm going to put it more into a formatted series, a an organized kind of thing.

If you want to see where these ended up, you can follow the podcast. Mr. Ben is add experience to search for that on your podcast stations, or check out my website and they'll direct you there. Mr. Benda. Anyway, I'm [00:01:00] hoping everyone had a good 2022. If you are interested in resolutions and getting your thoughts together for the year, you still have time.

[00:01:09] Part 1

Don't trip out that it's a, you know, almost a week into January, you can keep on the new year's thing until March until June, July had gone until August. You know, we don't care. You can start trying out different things. For many months into the new year, the whole point of the new year's resolution is to try to engage in a positive change.

Not really, to make sure it happens in January and get upset that you fell off or whatever. So keep pushing, keep pushing through. But I was recently talking to some people and. I hadn't really expressed a lot of my thoughts on resolutions, but I found out that a lot of people really have negative or less than a pleasing [00:02:00] attitudes towards resolutions.

Some people think they're like magic tricks, like a fortune cookie, where you wished for something on January 1st and just hope it happens. There are people that think that, you know, they quote unquote don't work. I don't know if they've ever studied goal setting or planning, but they just kind of give up on the whole idea that there's people that have ideas about going forward resolutions and they don't want to get into it because they want to quit or they don't want the commitment.

And, you know, that's, that's fine in its own way as well, but it's very weird to me. That's something I find so positive and endearing. Big holiday around trying something new or getting into a better way of doing things and people have kind of started poo-pooing it. In fact, one person told me that it was just another, another marketing and sales push to get people to buy weightlifting [00:03:00] equipment or to sign up for gyms and things like that.

Hey, I can't, what can I say about that? There's truth there as well? I'm here to actually promote good and positive change. Anybody that knows me, knows that I get into things. I learn new things. I I wasn't at wonder con one year. And then I was there one year. I wasn't doing art. I wasn't in art galleries one year.

And then I started getting into our galleries. I wasn't, I wasn't even calling myself a painter at one point. And then I was, you know, I wasn't. I wasn't an outgoing social person at one point. And then suddenly I was, it, these are, these are changes that I actually thought about and had resolve to get into.

And the resolve part is what makes the resolutions work. You have to be resolute, you have to have resolved. And you said, look up these words. If you're trying to figure out how to make this stuff happen for you, you know, are [00:04:00] you resolute? Do you have a determination about something? Do you have. From will, do you have a belief that you can not attain, but a belief that you can be going towards a goal going towards a result, going towards achievement, getting towards this better version of you.

And I hesitated with using the words, goal and result, and I'll tell you about that in a minute, but anyway, this is going to be free flowing. I'm actually just getting these thoughts together. I'm going to be putting it all out in. In a document form that I'll be distributing. It's enough of a thing in my head where I want to actually roll it out to people and we'll see how it works.

If it does, it does. If it doesn't, it does not. And once again if you have any comments, ideas, suggestions, let me know what you think about, you know, new year's resolutions. In fact, let me put that in the comments right now. Let me know what you [00:05:00] think. About resolution

and yes, I'm going to keep coming back to this topic because it's a more than more than one episode kind of thing is it's a series. So what I want to do today is just get into one of the basic things about resolutions that gets people tripped up and you can apply this to goals and. Process steps. Also, a lot of people get tripped up and they start to kind of falter with their goals.

And here's one of the reasons why, and remember, this is a, this is a complicated subject. So it's going to take a lot of there's no magic bullet. There's no one single answer. A lot of this depends on you, but hopefully I can help you talk through it. Think through some things that you're doing, and I'll probably learn some things from a lot of you all as well, because I'm continually learning.

Okay. Talk to people and go in any bookstore, you'll [00:06:00] see the number of self-help slash self-improvement books slash personal growth books, whatever you want to call it, training manuals, et cetera. It's a, it's a multi-billion dollar industry. That's huge. So I am not trying to say I'm better than all of those people, but I do have a very unique point of view on a lot of this.

So I wanted to start putting it out there and see what people. And yes, I'm totally good with resolutions. I love him. I change up on things every year. I improve, I sharpen the saw I do all that business. I have habits of highly effective people ingrained within me. I have a lot of processes that I've learned picked up over the year.

So anyway I am resolute. I have a firm determination about something and it's that, that can be hard to keep up with for. But it doesn't have to be. I'll tell you why. A lot of times when people say they're going to have a resolution, they have this [00:07:00] idea in their head where it's like, I want to, I want to get healthier.

I want to lose weight. I want to earn more money. I want to get toxic people out of my life. I want to cut down on social media. I want to there's all these. Ideas that they want. It falls into only a few categories. Probably list them out. There's like five or six major categories that will list out.

And you know what I'm talking about when you hear them and the marketing and sales departments of major companies know as well, you know, they start selling all the health, food, and all the planners, you see them on sale at at wherever you go target office Depot and all that. But you have these categories and people are like, yeah, I want to do this for my life.

I don't want to do that better. And it's just an idea and they're not very resolute about it. They're not very determined. And there's a lot of reasons why people don't get [00:08:00] determined about it, but they don't. So what I find people do is they look for an answer and this is. Not complete. This is, this is from looking at a lot of examples, looking at comments, talking to people it's not necessarily a scientific peer review thing, but it's something that's worked for me.

Something that I've applied to a lot of other people. And I think at the very least it will get you to think differently about this stuff. But when you decide on a thing to change, Whatever that is in your head. Just think about it. You know, I want to update this. I want to be more connected with my kids.

I want to be more outgoing, et cetera, et cetera. And then you stop and ask, ask yourself, well, how do I do that? What steps do I take? What goal do I have? And you fall [00:09:00] into these two camps. Big and specific goals where it's like, I want to lose a hundred pounds by the end of the year. I want to get into the size 32 pants in 17 weeks.

I want to, and they're these big, specific goals and that's fine. You should have big, specific goals. That makes sense. And then on the other hand, you have these very step-wise operations, these little slivers. That people tell you, and it's like, well, Hey, if you want to get some big far-off result or whatever, you're going to need to do this one thing every day, or at least once a week or three times a day, or eat five milligrams of what.

Some crazy supplement in the morning and do these 17 steps and repeat that every [00:10:00] day. And then it will become habit after 21 days. Some people say that's not really when a habit forms, that's when you're accustomed to it. Habit actually forms after 66 days, whatever, you'll find different research. That explains different things, but all of us are different.

So. There's fudge room there, at least between 21 and 60 something days. You'll hear people say, so they'll say, yeah, you need to get into a habit. You need to, you know, form that muscle memory to get it going. And that's the step wise thing. So there's the big and specific goal on one end where you really have to do whatever you need to do to make this big specific goal.

And then you have usually found by working backwards from that big specific. You'll have somebody saying, okay, well you need to do X, Y, and Z every day. A lot of the, a workout people will say, well, Hey, start a plan where you work three times workout three times a week. And then you have a cheat day where you can eat [00:11:00] whatever you want.

And they go through all this big planning, et cetera, et cetera. You've seen it. If you've ever signed up for a gym membership, they try to get you into these plans and everything. And that's cool. That's very fine. That's all well and good having those. But still, it does not make you resolute. And to have a resolution you need to have resolve, you need to have that hard determination, not to stick to a plan, not to go through these steps every time, but you need to have the resolve to go in a certain direction.

To follow what you really want, what your desires are, what you're pushing for, what you want that next level to be. And let's say you have that big, specific goal, right? Lose a hundred pounds by the end of the year.[00:12:00]

That may not be the right goal. And you're probably too far away from that goal to tell you if that's reasonable

and it may be reasonable, it may be actually attainable, but it's a bit far away. Now you should go put up your vision board on what you want and what it's about, and that's fine. Have that vision board up and you should have. You know, you know, checklist on things that you could be doing every day, but let's talk about that middle ground where your actual resolve is going to lie because in the big scheme of things in the big, far off goal, you're going to be looking at something that's too.

Morphous. It's not really a thing. When I worked in game development, we'd set out this big plan and we'd say, Hey, we're going to release this game on this date. It's going to have 17 levels is going to have this many characters. We're going to have [00:13:00] this kind of budget. And they planned out everything that they could within a week.

We were veering off the plan. Why you can't plan that discrete. And that's the I S C R E T E. Discrete individual steps, not discrete as in secret, sorry, computer programming term, discrete mathematics. You can't plan out a game or something that large in all of these individualized steps, that completely, you're going to veer off the path, but corporations know this, but as a, as a human, as a person, just dealing with your own shit.

You're not used to falling off the path. You start to waver, you start to wonder if you're doing what's right. You start to kind of falter and shake in your determination, your resolve a little bit when things aren't going, right? Because you can't see that end result when, when planes are flying, you know, they've gotten [00:14:00] it down to a very good science right now, but when planes are flying and going to a location, they are constantly checking the weather patterns.

Hey. You know, whether it's a little weird here, we're going to have to fly around this mountain range to avoid the hot air coming up. We're going to have to, oh, we really using a little more fuel than usual. We're going to have to coast a little longer than we expected to. Hey, just to be safe. Let's catch this jet stream right here.

That's going to take a slightly out of our range and they're continually making adjustments and that's what you should be doing. You should continually be making adjustments to whatever you need to. To keep going in the right direction. Now, if you're flying from New York to Los Angeles, then you need to make sure that you're headed towards the lower west coast.

I mean, that's just your general direction, the little adjustments along the way. That's what you need to expect. And that's what you [00:15:00] need to plan for. That's what your plan should be in. To make sure you're continually moving in that direction. Not that you're sticking to this very specific plan or, you know, this very rigid thing.

I mean, what happens if they say, you know what? We've got six other planes that have to cross in front of your path. It may not be safe anymore. Why don't you take a detour land in Chicago and then come over to Los Angeles. You may have to do that.

The planning systems don't really allow for that. And people get upset, they get frustrated, they start to lose faith. And that goal that they were going for, it starts to just feel weird to them. And they say, ah, I can't do it. I'm not getting where I thought I was supposed to be. And no one, no one tries to adjust what their.

As they're doing it, they just [00:16:00] try to plow through it plow along. Of course you believe in the process. Yes. But what I'm saying for us, there's a little bit more wiggle room in the middle than we're giving ourselves credit for now. That's the big, long goal, you know, you're trying to get to Los Angeles or whatever from New York now, in terms of the little steps along the way, you know, they have a whole checklist.

Get the passengers on, get everybody seated. You pass out the peanuts, you fly, you hit 50,000 miles above the ground, 30,000 feet, I'm sorry, 30,000 feet above the ground. You do all this stuff there. There's all these calculations. And it's very rigid. But as I said before, all along the way, you're making little updates to the.

Now let's bring that back home a little bit. What if you're building what if you're on a workout plan, you supposed to go to the gym three times a day, you know, I mean three times a week, you know what [00:17:00] happens immediately? At some point something comes up. You're not going to be able to make it to the gym in the morning.

You have to take your kid to school and meet with some people. You're not going to be able to make it to the gym in the afternoon. Because somebody is coming, the plumbers are coming over and they need to fix something and somebody has to be home. So now you've got decisions to make. How do I keep on doing what I'm doing?

Do I workout at home valid option? Do I, do I push my workout off to the next day could be a valid option. Do I skip the workout? Sure that might be a valid option as well. If it's going to stress you out and cause you to get tired and do something that makes you resent your resolve, that's the whole point.

You don't want to do anything that causes you to upset your resolve because that'll throw off your resolution and you won't be resolute [00:18:00] anymore. So another example, you know, we're building a video. And we're plowing along thinking everything's going to go the way everything goes. We get an extra programmer on the team, the programmer finished what he was doing on some other project.

They changed requirements. Now this programmers on our team. So everybody's like way now that we've got this new program on the team, we can actually do X, Y, and Z. And. They're suggestions. What if they suggestions with that new programmer start to take you off course.

This is where hard decisions have to be made, where things are happening on your journey that are trying to pull you not off course, because you can't know where the course is going. Exactly. But they're pulling you away [00:19:00] from what you want to be. What your energy is about what your, your flow is asking for.

And it's pulling you away from that, going to the gym every day. That's just a ritual and you should have rituals, but that's just a ritual. If somehow you can keep with your, I want to be healthy. I need to work my cardio. You don't necessarily need the gym to work your car. While the plumber is plumbing your house, and you have to be home.

You might run a run around the house 16 times, you know, as fast as you can, you'll look like a fool outside and people say what's wrong with that guy, but your resolve is strong because you have resolved to push your cardio. The resolve was not to go to the gym. The resolve was not to make sure you look fashionable or whatever the resolve was.

To hopefully get [00:20:00] healthier, whatever you were trying to do, whatever you said your goal was. And that's fine. Now, some, some people get confused about, you know, where you can't just change your mind. You know, you don't need to have isn't resolution about sticking to it and, you know, always doing the thing.

Yes. In a certain sense.

This is about your energy flowing in the right direction, not about reaching some magical goal, because if you are in the mindset that you do for yourself in the moment, you're, you're in the moment you're mindful of your surroundings and what's what's going on, then you're intimately. Connected to what's happening with you right now.

You're not at the beginning and you're not worrying about these individual [00:21:00] steps and you're not at the end worrying about, did I make it exactly where I said I would make it anybody who's going anywhere major knows that things change. Interesting things happen. And it's not that you get somewhere. You don't want to be it's that you'd get somewhere that you didn't expect.

You should leave yourself open to that. And you get that by following your energy and being in the moment. So workout example, let's say, you said you were going to lose, you know, all these, the a hundred pounds or whatever, and you were doing your running, you're doing your cardio and all this, but while you were in the gym, you weren't used to being in the gym that much.

And suddenly you started hitting the weights and. You didn't necessarily lose the weight you wanted, but you started getting bulk here. You started getting a little yoked, you started getting swole and you're like, [00:22:00] hold up, hold up, hold up. This is feeling good to me. I like the way this looks, you know, I used to be, you know, I was a fat slob, but I can be bulky.

I like, I kind like that. I don't mind the actual numbers on the scale anymore. Maybe I just want to. Be able to fit into the shirt or maybe I just want to be able to, you know, take my, take my shirt off at the, at the beach. Maybe I want to be able to lift a truck and I didn't even care how I look, you know, you've ever seen the strong man competitions.

Those guys don't look like chiseled or anything, but they're strong and they're healthy. Well, to a certain extent they're healthy. So you could. Flow properly. If you allowed yourself that change midcourse, where you're keeping track of what you're doing, and you're keeping track of how things are going, how you're feeling, you're looking at all your inputs, your parameters, [00:23:00] your, the various things going on.

And you're processing all of that day by day. If you're doing that properly and you're in the mood. You should be able to say, wow, this is interesting. My energy has taken me this far. I'm okay with changing course. If the, if the flight attendant, let's say you're on back on that flight, going to LA the flight attendant says, Hey, listen, we're going to make it to LA on time.

But instead of stopping in Denver, we're going to stop in Chicago. If they say that. You know what? I have friends in Chicago that might actually be a better use of my travel time than going, getting to LA on time. So if you asked them, Hey, if I stopped in Chicago, can we get to, you know, you might start doing this calculation on the little, overly expensive wifi on the, on the plane.[00:24:00]

You know, maybe you could find a way to get out of that. Or maybe you can just find a cheaper flight from Chicago to LA maybe cost doesn't matter. I don't know, but leaving yourself open to that because your resolution wasn't built on individual steps, nor was it built on a last, a final goal. So once you get out, get out of the mindset.

Individual steps like these, these hardcore processes and these very rigid goals that other people have probably set up. I mean, it sounded like a good idea at the time, but usually other people set these goals up and you just kind of go with it once you get out of that lock mindset of no individual, super hard result over here, individual steps over here.

Once you get out of that Paris. You find that your energy will CA at least for me and [00:25:00] some other people your energy will flow a lot better. And this takes a daily discipline of thinking about what's happening. What's going on? What are you doing? What are you really about? You know, let's say that resolution was, you know, I want a.

Back to the yearly resolutions. You, you know how they go, listen, let's not use the, the losing weight when let's say we say something like, Hey, I want to connect with my kids a little more. So you make this big, far off goal by the end of the year. I'll have taken my kids to Disneyland, done all this, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, if you know anything about kids, You're going to need to update that every, every, every couple, every week, every day, you're gonna need to check in with the kids.

Hey, are you guys into this? You went to that, or what are you doing? Or how is this going? You're going to need to interact with them quite often. You may not need to do it every [00:26:00] day. You probably can't start planning this kind of stuff every day. But if you have resolved. You can definitely make a lot of good things happen.

So I think I'll, I'll kind of close that one, there. Just some things to think. As I said, I'm putting these thoughts in order and these live events helped me do that. So please be sure you leave some comments and let me know what you're thinking. Let me know what I said. Sounds like complete and utter bullshit.

Let me know what sounds like I might be onto something or might help be helpful to you. Your feedback helps me. And this is how I learn also by putting this stuff out there, seeing what works, seeing what doesn't, and then adjusting my personal trajectory. That's the word of the day? My personal trajectory to see where we're going.

In fact, I will talk about a trajectory again tomorrow or some other day. I'll keep the series going, but more specifically about what that means to not get caught up in the [00:27:00] thinking about the big ultimate goal or the individual steps along the way. Because when you have resolve, you have an energy to just do what needs to happen in that direction.

[00:27:15] Part 2

I shouldn't even be doing this right now. I'm kinda tired wanting to go to sleep. I don't know why yesterday, when I started this whole new year's resolution series that I said, I don't know why I said that I was going to do a series of these because now I'm kind of locked into doing a series and I got to keep on doing it.

So it's all good. I'm here. Mr. Ben, just add experience live for January 7th, Friday. Usually I chill out on a Friday, but this Friday we're here talking new year's resolutions. Yesterday. I spoke about the first part of why your resolutions aren't working and that's because you're too rigid. You're either stuck in a series of.

Steps towards a goal or you're stuck [00:28:00] in trying to achieve a very specific result. Both of those extremes are a little too rigid. So I said, you need to loosen up in your rigid rigidity. So if you loosen up, what does that mean? It means that today, what I want to talk about today is about creating a trajectory.

A more generalized, flexible way of going about achieving what you want. Not necessarily a goals, not necessarily hitting a certain result, but going along a less specific trajectory. Now in the, in the example that I want to use today let's say you're just traveling, right? Traveling is always a good example for getting.

And I've used this before, so I'll use it again. Let's say you're on a road trip. You're somewhere in the middle of the country in your car, [00:29:00] or just wherever you're out at a rest stop or something. And in the distance you see some mountains. You're like, you know what? I see the sunsetting over there. I see some mountains I need to have.

That's my general trajectory. I don't know what that means, but I know I need to head west. I'm not going east, not going south. I'm not staying here. On a certain trajectory, I'm going to launch myself in that direction, adjust as I go along and figure out the best thing along the way. I don't know the exact reason.

Where I'm going to land. And I don't know the exact steps I'm going to take to get there, which is, as I said yesterday, the two things you're too rigid about. You may be too rigid about your individual steps in your resolution, and you may be too rigid about exactly where you're going to land. So with this thing called a trajectory, [00:30:00] it's kind of a hard concept for people to get sometimes because they've been sold so many ideas about.

You know, Hey, here's my everyday plan. Here's my, you know, 32 steps to making whatever it happened. This is the 31 day challenge. Once you reach of 21 days, 31 days, 67 days, then you're automatically going to have this thing habitualize and you'll be able to, to just you'll be whatever you want it to be.

You'll you'll be. Not necessarily true. What that means is you followed some steps and you're familiar with how to go about those steps. It doesn't mean necessarily you've got the result and it doesn't necessarily mean the steps got you, where you want it to go or move you along your trajectory line along your path properly.

What I'm trying to do is push for getting your energy together, getting your energy right, and moving in a certain [00:31:00] direction. And. You do that by deciding boundaries. Like I am this, I am not that I go this way. I don't go that way. I get stronger when I get more of this and I get weaker when I get less of this.

And over time as you're going along your path of a year, a month, six months, a semester, a summer, whatever the timeframe may be. You have to start figuring out what your overall path and goal is. When I was in for awhile, my trajectory was get into video games and that's a open enough goal and a specific enough result to, to really keep me moving.

If I, and [00:32:00] what that does, what having these general more generalized types of goals does is it allows you to pick and choose and make better choices every step along the way, because what your path is never going to be perfect. Right? If you say, Hey, I want to if you say, I want to lose 100 pounds by the end of the year.

You know, you've been eating potato chips and ice cream, your entire life for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And that's a specific result that you wanted. You had a goal, you know, a goal plan set of like, Hey, I'm going to. Eat a bowl of kale in the morning, eat a a plate of parsley and rice for lunch. And then at dinner, I'm going to drink a glass of water and meditate.

And then I'll, you know, of course you'll probably lose a hundred pounds or whatever, but you'll be miserable. And you'll probably quit and you may have had bad nerves and you'd probably curse somebody out along the way. And at the end of it, you may [00:33:00] not even be happy with the results because you're probably frail and weak and you couldn't.

You know, you couldn't do what you needed to do. So that's what I was saying. When I had a problem with goals, the little step wise goals and long-term results. If you set a trajectory, a path, a general direction on where you want to go, and this is kind of a weird concept to get in your head, but you need to start with the concept of an identity.

Where I'm someone who does this. I am not someone who does that. I am someone that cares about their health. I am not someone who disregards their, their health, their wellbeing, or even it's not about health, even if it's just about, you know, I want to be a person who wears these types of clothes and they don't make them in for oversized people sad, but true.

Sometimes fashion designers do that. And let's say, you just want. You know, have a certain look, you [00:34:00] want to go to the beach and look a certain way. You know, you don't want to be a plus size model anymore, or maybe you do, and you don't care. You just want to be quote unquote healthy. You want to be able to run up a flight of stairs.

You want to be like a, your favorite linebacker who can, you know, play a three hour football game and still be good. Whatever the case may be. You have to start putting together this identity of I'm like this. I do things this way. I don't do things that way. So as you get it, you get a bunch of categories of, I want more of this.

I want less of that. And what you do is you formulate that idea in your head and you can look up different visualization practices. What's up, Anthony, you can look up different visualization practices and you can kind of start figuring out, yes, this is what I want to aspire. Back to the example about getting to the mountains.

If you're in the middle of the, if you're in the middle of the [00:35:00] country and you start walking towards the mountains on the, on the west coast, you'll notice very quickly that you're not getting very far. Someone offers you a ride on a, on a bike. Someone offers you a ride in the car, you start making decisions like, you know what.

When I had nothing, but my shoes, my goal was to walk 50, whatever steps every day. Now that this guy is here with a car and offering me a ride, I can change my goal a little bit. You know what? Maybe I don't walk 50 steps every day. Maybe I started learning how to hail down drivers. Maybe I start learning how to find different modes of transportation.

Maybe I learn how to use Expedia and buy a ticket online or plaintiffs. Whatever the case may be. You leave yourself open to opportunities and choices that you might not have seen. If you weren't looking for them. For example, [00:36:00] let's say you were looking for your. Resolutions always fallen into a certain number of categories.

Right? Get healthy, get toxic people out of my life. Feel better, make better relationships with people you know, do better with money stop some bad habit like smoking or whatever it, they fall into certain categories.

Getting healthy is the one that people understand the most with resolution. So I'll stick to. If you just find something that, you know, for a fact takes you off your trajectory, off the path, off of this mental, mental direction that you've got going vector. That's the word I was looking for? Something that takes you off your mental vector, then you know that that's not good for you.

And then you have to figure out how do I stay away from that? [00:37:00] So let's say you want to get healthier and there are people that you befriend or that you're friends with that always go out and do unhealthy things. Every Friday you get with all your friends. They they eat pizza, they drink, they smoke, they don't get enough sleep.

They possibly, you know, they could be doing, they could be smoking, doing drugs, whatever. There. They're playing dangerous in the street, whatever. They're not doing healthy stuff, but you can't really stop because they're your friends, right? So what do you do? You're on, you're supposed to be on this trajectory and you've got these friends that are coercing you to do different things.

You can stay save yourself. You know, I'm not going to hang out with my friends on Friday or I'm not going to eat pizza, even though they all do, or I'm not going to listen. [00:38:00] You can try that. But at some point your willpower is going to mess up. At some point, you're not going to be doing. The right thing, or you're going to get caught out there some way.

It's really difficult to just kind of say, I'm going to stop doing whatever and you know, be better than I was last week, you know, because what you were last week is still pretty much who you are. You're, you've got momentum going in that direction. So you have to start thinking about ways to make different choices along the way.

You probably don't know what they are. Unless you're looking for them and unless you're willing to try them out. So that's the two things you have to be looking for ways to do things better, and you have to be looking for opportunities to try something different. So let's say everybody's ordering pizza or whatever they're doing the order pizza thing.

Right. And someone [00:39:00] says, you know, what do you want? And maybe you just. Hey, let me try the vegan pizza. I mean, it's still pizza or whatever, but Hey, let me try it. And they, you may get laughed at, but the pizza arrive you'll eat the vegan pizza. It'll be funny or whatever, but in that moment you made a choice to get a little better in that direction, get a little better.

And that's all the costs that you start that momentum in that direction you made that. So what happens if you're on that trajectory where you start making those better choices, maybe sometime during the week, you're talking to some, some general people and you say, you know, I had a vegan pizza last week.

It was actually not as bad as I thought it was, should I thought it was going to be. And one of the people that hears that it's like, oh, I'm being. Suddenly [00:40:00] the energy that you put out there about that vegan pizza reconnects with somebody next week, or somebody later on, that's like, Hey, your energy, your, your trajectory is now going in my direction as well.

Let me show you some other vegan options. Why don't you instead? Let's Friday. Why don't you come to my house where my family is going to be cooking up this great Indian meal. Indian cuisine is great for vegan dishes, by the way, what if we get together and you just come out, hang with us and Hey, you could even bring some of your pizza buddies too.

So now you've got another, you, you you've crossed up with another wavelength. That's pulling you in a direction that you want to do. You see what I'm saying? If you were to say what, I'm not going to hang out with my friends, then all of a sudden you start feeling sad about not hanging out with your friends.

You say, you're not going to eat pizza. [00:41:00] You feel sad that you're left out. If you say I'm not going to be unhealthy or whatever, then you know, you would have ordered a salad and you would've got laughed at. And nobody cares if you're just eating the salad. It just sounds like a stupid resolution. But if your trajectory really starts rolling, Really starts getting the way it's going.

You'll start picking up more examples like this more things, just start to happen, more opportunities open up. Not only because you're looking for them and not only because you've made the decision, you, you know, you open yourself up to those choices, but also because the energy that you put out, people are going to be keying into that people are going to be, they're going to say.

Your trajectory, they're going to notice the energy, your wavelength. I don't, I don't mean to sound woo with this. I'm very, this is scientific here. It's called social proof. Right? You start doing something and [00:42:00] you're putting off all these little cues that you may not recognize that you're putting off, but you are in fact putting off.

Energetic cues the way you dress talk, the slight little mannerisms, what you perk up to, what you laugh at, what you remark on, what what you hear, what your eyes, ears, what your senses filter out, what you react to. Other people pick up on this. And it's not that they know either they're doing the same thing where they're unconsciously kind of picking up and hearing things.

And maybe somebody that never said, Hey, Never said a word to you, all of a sudden, thanks that subconsciously or consciously thinks that, Hey, this person's on my wavelength. I'll say, Hey to them or I'll stop and smile. I'll wave, or I'll suggest something to them, whatever it happens like that. And

when you're going on your trajectory, when you've got your. Your direction and your path. It's not a [00:43:00] straight line. The trajectory is never perfect. It's always wavering. And that's what trips a lot of people up. They don't want this wavering kind of maybe this, maybe that, because it's not solid and that's okay.

It's okay to be a little organic. It's okay to be a little freeform, but it's hard to describe to other people because people are like, Hey, what's your resolution? And this is why I don't explain my resolutions to people because they're hard to explain. It's like, well I'm going to work on getting healthier.

No, where I'm going to write out a whole thing about how to set your trajectory and how to say it to yourself in your head and how to get that visualization together. But we don't have time to get into that all right now, but you've got this loose idea and you're like, well, I want to end up in a state where I, my body doesn't make me regret [00:44:00] the things that I consumed the night before.

So that could be drugs, alcohol, food the air, you breathe in whatever, but that's kind of a morphous and people don't like to hear, you know, whoa, I just want to do something that doesn't have. No body react in a funny way, by the way, body reacting in a funny way as like a hangover. When you, when you get sleepy, because you're too full, your gut feels, you got feels bloated.

You're you're, you're on the toilet the next day. That's an easy way to start figuring out that, Hey, my body's telling me something. I need to listen to it. If you set that as a goal, not to have that, then, then you're on the way to setting up a trajectory. If that makes any sense. Please comment back if it does or doesn't make any sense.

I want to know what you guys think about this, but you have, you had these alarms, these responses that your body gives you or the world gives you, or that you can sense and they help align your [00:45:00] trajectory. They, they give you those bounds of, I want more of this. I want less of that. I want less of that.

I want more of this, that kind of thinking. So.

Back to our food example, if you're, and you don't even have to try to become vegan, it could just be, you know, Hey, I want to try out the healthier pizza or whatever. And you know, suddenly now that you're thinking about, you know, healthy pizza, it's like, you know what, I'm driving to a pizza hut right now to get a pizza.

Go buy whole foods that someone said they had a pizza from whole foods. Let's see, let's see what that whole foods, if I don't like what they have, then I'll leave or maybe I'll go to blaze pizza or somebody someplace else. It's just not pizza hut because I know it's complete bullshit. You set up a trajectory and you start making these new connections.

As I said before, once you're in whole foods, you're in that environment, you're on that different path. And you're getting [00:46:00] closer to the mountains in the west coast that you always wanted to be on. You don't have a direct plan. You don't know exactly what routes you're going to take. You don't know if they're going to be any detours.

You don't know if they're going to be any road bumps and that's how real life is. So when people ask me, what am I doing? I'm going to tell them, Hey, you will know, by my works, you will know me by. If you don't notice some change in me in some aspect of my life, then either it wasn't visible to you in the first place, or I didn't do my job and I didn't complete it.

So that's the one for today getting on your trajectory. Hopefully that made sense. As I said, I'm gonna to write all these out, do a little more tomorrow I'll be back with number three, which is I'll go ahead and I'm going to be doing it on the serenity. Serenity. Prayer is a great thing to consider when you're trying to keep your resolutions and trying to set your year together.

And remember, we're only like the first week of January and people have [00:47:00] already thrown up their hands and given up and failed. So that stuff doesn't work, man, that stuff, the stuff they've been trying to sell you is just to get rich off selling planners, you know, try to get you into their little 30 day challenges or whatever.

I'm really not sure a lot of these people are.

Very genuine. What the thing is, maybe they do work. Maybe it works for a lot of people, but I think there's a better way and a lot less stressful way to get at what you want. And that's the followup trajectory. And so that's number two. And we're going to go through, I think, like five more. I don't know if I'm going to do one every night.

I'll probably skip some nights. Yeah. We'll see how it goes anyway. That's it. Mr. Binges, add experience life. Getting back on my life thing for 2022, not promising that I'll ever do any anymore. Just going to show up. When I show up, usually somewhere between six and seven, o'clock look out for me comment and let me know what you think.

I want to know what's going on for new year. New year's [00:48:00] your resolutions, et cetera. Anyway, love you all. Keep playing the game piece.

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